Text animations are out of style. Wait… nu-uh, just checked the clock — and would ya know they’re back in style.

• Observe the signs. Reality bingo.
• We are floating on magic pixie dust. Very scary.
• My ego is under attack. Oh noo!
• Just pick me please, pretty please..
• It’s all just an animation. Frames per second: Infinite!
• Command line flags. Sorcery and runes.
• Resist the struggle. You must fight. Now breathe.
• Big weak, Little strong.

Netizens think that there are only 5 websites. Here’s a video from one of them. Pat yourself on the back, you have reached the end of the Internet.

This individual is old enough to remember that the Internet is a vast place.

web.archive.org

https://web.archive.org/web/20200111092601/https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

The metadata ⬆️ menu has a link to the raw Markdown. The file markdown.md generates this message. I might as well show my internals. Casual users will frown, power users will delight.

We get things done around here! The first step is to write down our goals for today. You can schedule posts by setting a date into the future.

• Write Task List
• Check Task List
• Forget About Task List ™

Speaking of lists. Everyone likes a good list. Spur ridicule and controversy by ranking things. It’s that easy.

1. C
2. Bash
3. Perl

10. JavaScript
11. PHP
12. Java

Is your JavaScript functional? Double¹ click a word and hold the D key to look it up in a dictionary. Select a phrase, and hold the S key to look it up in a search engine. Smartphone users can ignore this and keep scrolling — that’s all they’re good for.

Is it safe? Well this message ain’t. Evil communications corrupt good manners. Grace your hearers with a warning before things get unsavory. Shoo.

Professor Wiio says; If a message can be interpreted in several ways, it will be interpreted in a manner that maximizes the damage.

Limit or boost virality and damage by self destructing the source of an imagined controversy. This is not to be indexed — search engine bots shall not pass (hopefully), neither should this message propogate through any feeds. This hidden message will only disappear in my timeline because I’m an intergalactic time traveler.