We get things done around here! The first step is to write down our goals for today. You can schedule posts by setting a date into the future.

• Write Task List
• Check Task List
• Forget About Task List ™

Speaking of lists. Everyone likes a good list right? Spur ridicule and controversy by ranking things, it’s that easy.

1. C
2. Bash
3. Perl
4. JavaScript
5. PHP
6. Java

Is your JavaScript functional? Double¹ click a word and hold the D key to look it up in a dictionary. Select a phrase, and hold the S key to look it up in a search engine. Smartphone users can ignore this and keep scrolling — that’s all they’re good for.

Is it safe? Well this message ain’t. Evil communications corrupt good manners. Grace your hearers with a warning before things get unsavory. Shoo.