Text animations are out of style. Wait.. nu-uh, just checked the clock — and would ya know they’re back in style.

• Observe the signs. Reality bingo.
• We are floating on magic pixie dust. Very scary.
• My ego is under attack. Oh noo!
• Just pick me please, pretty please..
• It’s all just an animation. Frames per second: Infinite!
• Command line flags. Sorcery and runes.
• Resist the struggle. You must fight. Now breathe.
• Big weak, Little strong.

Netizens think that there are only 5 websites. Here’s a video from one of them. Pat yourself on the back, you have reached the end of the Internet.

This individual is old enough to remember that the Internet is a vast place.

web.archive.org

https://web.archive.org/web/20200111092601/https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

The metadata ⬆️ has a menu link to the raw Markdown file markdown.md that generates this message — might as well show my internals. Casual users will frown, power users will delight.

Beep beep beep. Another user? Multiple users are available by setting a specific author. @canory thinks this is cool but doesn’t know any better – it’s hacks all the way down.

“Bootstrap” authors by adding a name to the author list in the toml/json/yaml configuration file. We tried to create a somebody but all we could muster was a nobody.

author:
  list:
  - canory
  - default
  - nobody

To complete the process, read and follow nobody’s profile, then create nobody’s home in the content directory.

content
|__ nobody
    |__ messages
        |__ new.md

We get things done around here! The first step is to write down our goals for today. You can schedule posts by setting a date into the future.

• Write Task List
• Check Task List
• Forget About Task List ™

Speaking of lists. Everyone likes a good list right? Spur ridicule and controversy by ranking things, it’s that easy.

1. C
2. Bash
3. Perl

10. JavaScript
11. PHP
12. Java

Is your JavaScript functional? Double¹ click a word and hold the D key to look it up in a dictionary. Select a phrase, and hold the S key to look it up in a search engine. Smartphone users can ignore this and keep scrolling — that’s all they’re good for.

Is it safe? Well this message ain’t. Evil communications corrupt good manners. Grace your hearers with a warning before things get unsavory. Shoo.